"I'm dating a homeless woman. It was
easier talking her into staying over."
Dave Attell
Dave Attell
"I was
on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn't really a date-date. We
just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed."
David
Spade
"I'm a
gentleman and I was always taught it's rude to talk about a woman's age or
weight unless you are breaking up with her."
"Never
let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you."
Clark
Gable
"It is
an extra dividend when you like the girl you've fallen in love with.
"
"
Larry
David
"Golf
and dating don’t mix."
Matthew
S. Field
"There
should be a CarFax for single women. If you were interested in dating a woman, you could check her major accidents, hidden
problems, whether she’s a lemon, and warranty information."
Alex Reed
"I hate
first dates. I made the mistake of telling my date a lie about myself, and she
caught me. I didn’t think she’d actually demand to see the bat cave."
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
"I like
to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over
again."
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