Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Dating Your Wife (or Committed Partner)

If you’re a regular reader of The Single Father’s Guide Blog, the chances are you’re a single dad. Based on the numbers, if you’re a single father, there is a 94% chance the relationship that produced your children ended in divorce, separation, or some other form of break-up. Maybe, you’ve read The Single Father’s Guide Blog consistently and have taken stock. Maybe, you’ve taken care of yourself emotionally and physically so you could be everything your children need you to be. Maybe, you’ve got your stuff together enough to have begun a romantic relationship. Well, maybe, it’s time now to take the next step and, well, have a successful relationship. One of the keys to having a successful relationship, I think, is to regularly date your wife or partner.

A few weeks ago, the business travel brought perhaps my oldest friend who I've known for more than four decades through the Village of Warwick, where I call home. (What are the odds?) While he was here, he, I and The Favorite Son had dinner at Fetch Bar & Grill (click to see TFSG Blog review) and, after returning The Favorite Son home, my friend and I stopped at Village Billiards for cocktails and a few games of pool.

A little while after my friend and I got a table and played a game or two, an attractive couple, probably around 40 years old, started to play right next to us. I knew to couple tangentially; I recognized them to the degree I could nod, “Hello,” but not enough refer to them by name. I did know for sure, however, that the two were married and had children together. It was also very clear that the two were on a “date.”

Both were pretty good pool players who evidently were very much enjoying themselves. I surreptitiously watched as each took their turn with the pool cue. One complemented the other on their shots or suggested other shots as both sipped their drinks. They laughed at the other’s jokes. Both had taken the time before they’d gone out that night and in the context of their lifestyle to look good for the other. Based on their comfortable affection the couple showed one another, each had a genuine fondness and respect for the other and were making the time to celebrate those special things they shared. Even though the bar was crowded and every pool table was occupied, the two were in a bubble at that table created by the love and affection each had for the other.

What better way can a guy show his committed partner how much he cares for her by caring for himself, dressing for her, and taking the time to spend the time with her? If time is the currency of love, then this guy made a significant investment in the relationship he has with his wife. I’d imagine he makes this sort of deposit regularly.

So, here’s the take-away, gentlemen. Whether you’re a single father who is starting a new relationship with a special woman or whether you’ve been married for years and would prefer not to become a divorced man and a single father, take a cue from the pool player. Find the time in your busy life as a parent, a breadwinner, the general contractor of your home, and all of your other responsibilities to date your committed partner. If she’s worth your attention, she’s worth making the investment of your time.

Trust me on this. You’ll both be happier in the short term and in the long term.