Tuesday, April 19, 2016

On Slut Shaming

Been seeing what appears to be a concerted media campaign to bring slut shaming to the forefront in order, I suppose, well, I don't know what the hell these people want to do by bringing slut shaming into the public discourse. Maybe it has something to do with Hillary Rodham Clinton's campaign for the White House.

UrbanDictionary.com defines slut shaming as "an unfortunate phenomenon in which people degrade or mock a woman because she enjoys having sex, has sex a lot, or may even be rumored to participate in sexual activity. Often, it's accompanied by urban legends such as the common virgin misconception that the vagina becomes larger or looser with use . . .  since most people would rather women be more sexually active than less, slut shaming is counterproductive of most men and quite a few ladies."

So, when I hear someone say to me, "What's the difference between a woman who has sex with a lot of men and a man who has sex with a lot of women," and really seems to want an answer, I know that person is either an idiot or has an agenda. Sometimes, both.
Monica Lewinski: Mercilessly Slut Shamed by the Same People Who
Decry Slut Shaming

Speaking of agendas, is it coincidental that many of the same voices who decry slut shaming are the very voices who slut shamed a 23 year old intern for consenting to sex with the most powerful man on the planet and who continue to slut shame her almost two decades later?



Sometimes, both.

(Straight talk alert. If you're not looking for direct, honest male perspective, turn away now.) There are three types of women in a man's eye: "No," "Yes," and "It." In a nutshell, a No is simply that. No. Just, no. Depending on the guy, this category could be very large or virtually non-existent. A Yes is an attractive and fun woman who, given the right set of circumstances, well, the answer is, "Yes." Okay. Fine. Great. Let's go. Again, there are a variety of factors at work here, but the Yes category is typically relatively small. Finally, there is the "It," you know, as in she really has It. She's the sort of girl who you bring home to meet your Mom. She's the sort of girl who you respect and love and to whom we, men of character and integrity, may even make a commitment. Very few of these ladies out there.

So, a woman who has sex with a lot of guys, may be a No girl, in which case a guy really shouldn't give a rat's ass what she does, or a Yes girl, in which case a guy shouldn't give a rat's ass what she does. In both cases, what do you care? An It girl probably wouldn't have sex with outside of the committed relationship unless that's what the two of you are into, in which case, more power to you. As a guideline, however, it's not in her nature to sleep with other dudes because she's the kind of gal who respects her partner.

Okay?

Bottom line, gentlemen, it just doesn't make any sense. A gentleman doesn't shame sluts.