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Bridge to the Tranquil Island? |
When I was a younger man, a
partner to my lovely, late wife, and a less experienced professional manager, I’d heard something about the “Tranquil Island” as it pertained to married
couples who divided and conquered to achieve the kind of life afforded by
personal and financial stability. In summary, the Tranquil Island was the home
which, in most cases, a wife made for her working husband. So, while the
husband was out slaying dragons, he could return to the love, safety, and
tranquility of the home where he could tend to the wounds of battle, take sustenance,
and then return, refreshed and re-armed, to the fight.
I also recall that special
interest groups denounced the idea of the Tranquil Island as sexist, demeaning,
and stereotyping women, but frankly, it’s a person’s right to choose the sort of
life he or she wants to live and how he or she wants to live it. I believe, in a true
partnership between a man and a woman, there exists two individuals but there
also exists one entity through the commitment each individual makes to the
other. What is good for one is good for both.
Anyway, in my and Lori’s case, we both
worked before we started having babies. After The First Beautiful Daughter was
born, Lori took care of the babies and created our Tranquil Island. I battled
the dragons and mowed the lawn. It was our plan, when our last baby was
out of diapers who as it turned out is The Favorite Son, Lori would go back to
work. I would have enjoyed that chance to create a Tranquil Island for her, although she really didn't like the idea of me as a stay-at-home dad.
Ironically, she didn't think I had it in me.
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Islanders: Lori, Jordan, & Katie |
As a widower single father, like
all varieties of single fathers, I have found it a challenge to battle the
dragons without the Tranquil Island. A couple of years after becoming a single
dad, I tried to return to the workforce only to discover I wasn’t able to serve
two masters. After a few months, I stopped. A couple of years later, I tried,
and failed, again. About a year ago, I returned to the outside-the-home
workforce for the third time. Three appears to be the charm.
What's changed? Well, for one,
the kids are older and more independent. That certainly doesn’t mean that the
Two Beautiful Daughters and The Favorite Son don’t sill need attention, but
their increased self-reliance has been extremely helpful. The other part of the
equation is what I call the Artificial Tranquil Island.
Stay tuned for next week’s post
when I describe the Artificial Tranquil Island.