Friday, April 24, 2015

For the Ladies: How to Date a Busy Single Father

First sip?
The Single Father’s Guide Blog doesn’t have those fancy analytics about user demographics, but it does give me a little bit of interesting bits of information. For instance, the basic Blogger analytics provide specific searches words that brought readers to the site. One of the search phrases, ostensibly posted by who I imagine to be a beautifully hopeful and thoughtful young lady, I saw recently was, “How to date a busy single father,” which I thought would make a great topic for a post.

Here you go, searcher of knowledge, this is “How to Date a Busy Single Father.”

Your search phrase is redundant. “Busy” and “single father” are very nearly synonyms. If you want to date a busy single father, then you’ll often have to work your romance into his busy single father (BSF) schedule, which may include not only a job, but also homework shift, sports practices and games, de facto child psychologist, short-order cook, recreation coordinator, and more . . . and be okay with it.

His children are important to him.
Must love (and want) children. He’s got ‘em. You had better want ‘em, love ‘em, and know how to show it.

Sympathy and support. There is almost a one in ten chance that a BSF is a single father as a result of his spouse’s infidelity. About one in 20 BSFs are widowers. Almost certainly, however, the relationship with the mother of his children ended differently than he would have hoped. If “Grief is only the memory of widowed affections," as the philosopher James Martineau suggested, then your BSF will appreciate your support to help him through.

Love him. Sure, guys aren’t comfortable with public displays of affection. Some are. Others may or may not communicate their emotions through physical intimacy. Others may just want to know you’re there. Regardless of the way you and your BSF manifest it, love him deeply and completely. You may be surprised at the ways your BSF and your love together blooms.

Of course, people are different, but if you find a BSF who takes his parenting responsibility and his other personal and professional commitments seriously, you’ve probably found a keeper. If you apply these four, simple ideas in your relationship with him, I can almost guarantee that he’ll connect with you in all the ways you want him to.

Good luck, searcher of knowledge.