Friday, October 11, 2013

Bitterly Funny Divorce Quotes

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." -Socrates
Courtesy of Mark Anderson (

"Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse." -Groucho Marx

"Ah, yes, divorce . . . from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." -Robin Williams

"Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers." -Gerald F. Lieberman

"There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again." -Clint Eastwood

"Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on." -Larry David

Courtesy of Stu Rees (
"There are four stages in a marriage. First, there's the affair, then the marriage, then children, and finally the fourth stage, without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce." -Norman Mailer

"A lot of people ask me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short." -Mickey Rooney

"A divorce lawyer is a chameleon with a law book." -Marvin Mitchelson

"Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil." -H.L. Mencken

"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." -Henny Youngman


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