Friday, October 11, 2013

Bitterly Funny Divorce Quotes

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." -Socrates
Courtesy of Mark Anderson (

"Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse." -Groucho Marx

"Ah, yes, divorce . . . from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." -Robin Williams

"Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers." -Gerald F. Lieberman

"There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again." -Clint Eastwood

"Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on." -Larry David

Courtesy of Stu Rees (
"There are four stages in a marriage. First, there's the affair, then the marriage, then children, and finally the fourth stage, without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce." -Norman Mailer

"A lot of people ask me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short." -Mickey Rooney

"A divorce lawyer is a chameleon with a law book." -Marvin Mitchelson

"Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil." -H.L. Mencken

"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." -Henny Youngman


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Kate said...

Thanks for this post!

Kate said...

I really believe that a good sense of humor may change or even save people's lives! Thank you one more time for sharing these jokes! Some of them are really funny and made me laughing. Divorce is still such a complicated and sad thing. When you can look at the future without your partner, you have to divorce. In case you are looking for some information as to the financial side of this issue, you may go to this web-site.

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